


Thirty-Seven Dollars and Forty Cents

by fire_sprite



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: All Info Is Supplied By Avengers 2012 And That's Pretty Much It, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, My First Work With An "Aesthetic" Title I Guess, Not Canon Compliant, There Weren't Any Good "Hulk Meets Peter" Fics So I Wrote My Own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_sprite/pseuds/fire_sprite
Summary: Now that Bruce is back on the team―well, sort of―he and Tony figure their newest member should meet one of the oldest. (Besides Captain America. He's already asked for an autograph.) So that means hoping Hulk won't get worked up over Peter, and that Tony won't get worked up over him. It goes surprisingly well.





	Thirty-Seven Dollars and Forty Cents

“So, Peter, we called you here for a reason,” Tony briskly removes his helmet and sets it on the marble table in front of him. The other Avengers lounge like cats, strewn around the living room, and variously either patch up each others’ wounds or their own.

“Yeah, because Stark Tower is closer than my apartment, and I needed a Band-Aid,” Peter points at a Captain-America-themed bandage on his nose.

Tony waves away his words. “Not the point. You know Bruce?”

“Uh, Mr. Banner? The scientist?” Peter, although he tries not to show it, looks excited. Well, _of course_. Bruce to Peter is like AC/DC to any other teen on the block. Or something like that. AC/DC is still hip, right?

“One and only. Now that he’s… mostly back on the team, we―well, I―figured it was time you met Big Green.”

Peter chokes on his water.

“Wh―Mr. Stark―you mean _the Hulk?_ ” Peter’s voice comically pitches to a squeak after he finishes coughing. He looks back at Bruce sitting on a marsala couch, who cheerfully waves before resuming bandaging Clint’s fingers. “Like, for _real?_ ”

“Have you met any other large green creatures that I should know about?” Tony raises an eyebrow.

“I can make a list.”

There’s a pause, then an, “okay, point made. So are you okay with meeting the Big Guy? I’m not gonna force it on you.”

“Yeah, I-I’m good, it’s just… wow! The _Hulk,_ ” Peter makes incomprehensible hand gestures, fumbles, and gives up trying to delicately explain. “You know?”

“Definitely,” Tony grins. He catches Bruce’s eye and nods him over. Bruce, looking slightly too polite for current company, heads over, and introduces himself to the wonderstruck boy.

“Mr. Parker―”

“You can call me Peter―” he interjects, bright-eyed.

“Peter. You know full well of the Hulk’s capabilities?” Bruce gently leads Peter towards the lab, and Tony, after checking on the rest of the Avengers, follows suit. The three continue the (granted, mostly Bruce-Peter) conversation inside the glass doors.

“I have a trading card, does that count?”

Bruce seems to hold back a laugh, and settles for his signature eye crinkle, which seems to both relax the teen and the scientist, and proceeds with, “Kind of. When was the trading card put out?”

“It’s, uh, vintage,” Peter admits. He perks up. “But if it makes you feel better, you’re worth thirty-seven dollars and forty cents on eBay.”

“Well, that’s still more than some people think,” Bruce shrugs. “Anyway, the main points are that, one, the Hulk tends to be emotionally unstable, and two, he can get upset fast. As long as you treat him with respect, everything should be fine.”

Tony sees how Bruce’s hands twitch and reminds himself that, hey, _everything will be fine_. He says as much while clapping his hand on Bruce’s shoulder and giving him a firm smile and a nod, because, honestly, the last thing Bruce needs right now is doubt in his capabilities. His gaze sweeps over to Peter, who, if not a little awed and starstruck, looks nervous.

“Kid, you sure you got this?”

“Absolutely, Mr. Stark,” Peter says, setting his jaw in an effort to look more fearless. It doesn’t work, but Tony appreciates the effort anyway.

“Because you know Bruce has it all under control.”

“I know, Mr. Stark.”

“And you know I wouldn’t let Hulk hurt you.”

“I know, Mr. Stark.”

Peter still has his jaw set. Tony’s mentor instinct rings a bell.

“Do you want me to be in the room when it happens?”

“Could you?” Peter gives him the inadvertently-relieved look, and Tony can reassure himself, now, that yes, _Peter is going to be fine._

“I’ll be right over there,” Tony guides Peter’s gaze to a nearby stand. Tony doesn’t mention that it has a handy, heavy glove prototype. Just in case the Hulk gets out of hand. But only just in case. Tony darts behind the table, doesn’t sit down, but keeps his eyes trained on the prize.

“Good knowin’ ya, Peter,” Bruce does one of his dorky salutes, “ready?”

Peter gives a thumbs-up. “You bet, Mr. Banner.”

 

And thus, Bruce’s skin runs green, his clothes tear and arteries pop, and soon enough, the Hulk is towering above Peter, who is now very pale.

 

_Hulk is confused._

_Hulk can hear Banner’s voice, calm in his head._

_Hey, Hulk, this is someone new, can you say hi to him?_

_Hulk knows Tony’s place, he does not know this person._

_This is someone new, remember? Can you say hello?_

 

The Hulk’s eyes crinkle, in almost the same way that Bruce does. So much so, that Tony’s stomach does some sort of weird flopping motion.

“Peter, you doing okay?”

Peter gives another thumbs-up without looking at Tony. The Hulk and Peter are engaged in a staring contest, apparently, until Hulk swings his arms, mutters something to himself, and finally offers a hand.

“ _Hello._ ” he rumbles.

Of all the things Peter or Tony expected him to say, this wasn’t really it. Peter was thinking more along the lines of “Hulk smash,” and frankly, Tony wasn’t expecting anything, because in his experience, the Hulk isn’t really a man of many words.

“ _I am Hulk._ ” the Hulk clarifies. Peter’s eyes grow so wide they seem to take up half his face.

“I’m Peter,” he says tentatively, and takes the Hulk’s hand, which so engulfs the former’s hand that Tony almost snorts. The Hulk looks, otherwise, uncharacteristically solemn, but Tony’s pretty sure that’s just a side effect of the Hulk being confused, which happens more than you might think, and that’s the only side of the Hulk he’s prepared to see.

“Well, I’m also Spider-Man,” Peter corrects himself. “But I go by both. Wait, but―don’t call me Peter in battle, though, because that’s secret―sorry for making this confusing, uh,” Peter looks around, possibly for something that’ll make him stop talking.

That turns out to be the Hulk’s next remark.

“ _Hulk has heard of you before._ ”

“Wait―really? Mr. Banner says stuff about me?” Peter asks excitedly. The Hulk slowly shakes his head, which seems like a crushing blow.

“ _Banner does not talk about Peter. But_ he _does,_ ” and the Hulk motions towards Tony, something that makes him stiffen up and cross his arms.

“I do not,” Tony protests half-heartedly, but he can catch a glimpse of a grin on the Hulk’s face before he continues.

“ _Tony says good things about Peter. Tony is proud._ ”

Peter’s eyes have switched to full puppy-mode by now, and there’s no stopping them. “ _Really,_ Mr. Stark?”

“Pete, I thought you knew,” Tony says completely honestly, and takes a few hesitant steps from behind the desk, since this seems to be going unexpectedly heart-warming. “I’m proud of you no matter what.” he offers a smile, and Peter returns it about four-thousand watts brighter. Tony steps officially in front of the desk.

“So, any other bombshells you care to drop on us, Hulk?” Tony raises his eyebrows. The Hulk, surprisingly, kneels down to Peter’s eye level. Actually, more like a foot above his eye level.

“ _Banner is sorry he could not meet Peter before. He wants to see how your… spider-powers work?_ ” the Hulk furrows his eyebrows.

“Don’t we all,” Peter and Tony say simultaneously.

 _“Are you a spider?_ ”

And honest to God, if that’s not the funniest thing Tony’s ever heard the Hulk saying while looking so confused, and he just cracks up while Peter tries frantically to explain his powers to Big Green.

“Well, uh, I shoot, web stuff, out of my wrists and everything, so kind of? Wait, no, nevermind, I only have two legs, and two eyes, and _definitely_ not an exoskeleton, so mostly just an advanced human.”

“ _Web stuff,_ ” the Hulk repeats cautiously.

“Yeah! Like this―!” Peter jabs his hand in the general direction of the Hulk’s face and accidentally shoots the webs onto his nostrils. “Uh, sorry!”

The Hulk blinks, slightly put off, before breaking the bonds simply by flaring his nose. He shows a slightly terrifying smile.

“ _All is good. Spider-Man is Hulk’s friend._ ”


End file.
